Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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