and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
