used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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