i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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