some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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