so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
