He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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