Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
