haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my being single is dangerous.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize