Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
