Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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