ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
