Umm I'm too high to move.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
