Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
