I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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