dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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