She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
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I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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