YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
