Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
