some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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