I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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