Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
