doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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