He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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