You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
