So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
