Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
