Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
