Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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