I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes