No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
