Just cropdusted the office
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.