I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.