i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
