I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
