yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
