I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
