i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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