he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have already put on my inside pants.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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