she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
