WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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