Plan B is the new Plan A
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
