I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize