She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
