im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
