The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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