Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
