What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
