Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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