I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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