why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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