We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
