what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
