Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
