we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
