Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I will pee on everything he values.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
