do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
