I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
